Monday, December 8, 2008

You are my Rock, on You I stand...

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the Rock.
The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the Rock.
But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.
The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."


As I was reading this parable last night during my quiet time, I got a revelation of what Jesus was trying to say when He was telling it: When we go through tests & trials, & the storm comes, are we prepared to stand firm in Jesus' words? Are we strong enough in Him? In His word, to take everything the devil throws our way? Is our foundation truly on the Rock? Have we given Him everything? Have we let everything go? Or are we like the fool who built his house on the sand? Are we just living day to day for ourselves with out meaning or purpose, and setting a few hours of one day a week sitting in church to "spend time with God" while all we're really doing is wondering about all that we have to do today, or where we'll go for lunch afterwards? Not getting into the Word every chance we have but instead getting into the world? Are we prepared to fight against the devil and his schemes when the storms come and the waters rise? When the winds blow and the rain falls? Or are we just going to let it overcome us and wash us and our faith away?
But what I'm really wondering is...
Is your foundation on the Rock? Have you built your entire life on the Rock? Have you fallen on the Rock? Or has the Rock fallen on you after the waters washed everything away and everything fallen with a crash?

Someone I once knew [who was unsaved at the time, and didn't truly know THE God I'm talking about but had his own idea of Him] told me that one of his main goals in life was to "simply" make a few ripples in the world, [which to myself seemed like a pointless goal to have, because God didn't call us and set us apart simply to make some ripples in the world, but to make waves. Huge, tsunami, tidal waves] As I thought about what he said for a minute or two, I simply replied, In order to make even the slightest of ripples, you have to have the Rock in hand first.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Let the other's see you've got your victory...

There's a Light at the end of this tunnel shining bright, oh, so bright.
I can't take my eyes off of It,
It draws me in.
Everytime I blink, I long for every second my eyes missed a chance to gaze upon It's beauty, longing to see that picture of perfection...the hope that keeps me going.
I'm reaching...approaching
closer...closer...
My hand reaches out for It, I'm almost there...until...doubt rushes towards me, full speed ahead, knocking at my door, unresting, unending.
The Light gets further, and further away, as I pull myself from It, propelled by doubt...fear...anger...pain...
Why am I going through this fire, I thought I gave everything to You, I held nothing back from You...
or so I thought.
I wouldn't listen, I took my heart out of Your hands, and I let someone who it didn't belong to have it...hold it...crush it...break it...throw it away.
I lay there, crying out to anyone who would listen, my heart beside me...I frantically search for all of the pieces, but found one missing,
then I remembered...it was never there to begin with.

I hear the voice of One so gentle, loving, & kind...
I lift my head to find I'm back in the tunnel; there's the Light, I'm closer then I was before.
I see Him pointing to an object that's next to me, an object that has been refined by fire, it looks new, pure, unscathed,
I pick it up to see that it was the heart that had been broken, dashed to pieces, it had been mended, I find all of the pieces there, even the one that had been missing, it's shaped like the One standing before me.
I stand in awe, gazing into His loving eyes.
With tears running down my face, I reach over and hand the heart to Him...knowing it's now in the right hands.
He gazes into my soul and smiles, opens His arms, I run into them, unwilling to let Him go.
He holds my heart so close to His, I won't take it back.
He leads me further, I find I'm no longer in the tunnel, the darkness disappears,
now I'm standing in the Light...



"I was with you in the valley,
and up upon that hill.
So take just one more step in front of you,
for I am with you still..."

Thursday, September 11, 2008

I won't fall as long as You're around me...

There's a song I love by the band Needtobreathe, called "Washed by the Water" and what it meant never really hit me until today.
A lot has been happening lately, tests and trials that we've been through before, and I know that
without God's hand in my life, I would be in a place where I shouldn't be, doing things I shouldn't be doing. And even though it seems like God is just sitting back watching us go through these things again, I know He isn't.
Even when the world crumbles under my feet, I won't be moved, I won't fall into the trap satan makes of the lies that God never listens, that He doesn't care and that He just sits back and watches us go to hell. He's our net when we fall, He's the hand that catches us, the shoulder we can cry on, the reason to go on living for tomorrow.
When all these tests and trials come and we've either failed or succeeded, learning from our mistakes, He washes all of our sins away. He died for this reason.
Even when doubt comes,
even when the strorms come,
when the water rises, and tries to wash us away,
the River of Life comes and drowns us and washes us away in His love.
We sink in His grace, our hearts become one.
And we know that He'll get us through the things that we fear we'll never get out of, the things that seem to consume us, and we can let go and give it all to Him, because that's what He died for, His love is towards us, not against us.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Spread His word, save the world...

"I saw the dead, great & small, standing before the throne, & books were opened.
Another book was opened, which was the book of life.
The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books...
If anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire."
Revelation 20~12 & 15

How can we sit back & just let this happen??
Everyday more & more people are dying, & little do they know that this will be their destiny.
That they will spend eternity being tortured, with no hope of redemption, no chance of freedom.
Tortured day & night forever with no end.
Everyday, this becomes someone else's destiny.
Not much to look forward to, is it?
Imagine spending an eternity screaming for help & knowing deep down inside that it will never come,
seeking rest, but in turn more torture.
No hope.
Torment unceasing.
No rest or sleep, no peace...
Just chaos and lament as they think about all the oppourtunities that they were presented with, or that you could have presented them with.
Writhing with bitterness because you knew the truth, but were too scared to share it with them, or because you lived the life of a "christian" and was no different from a sinner, and they saw that and didn't want it because it looked no different from the way one would live their life in the world.
Because people care too much about what man thinks, and says.
What does it matter??
Man's opinion is useless if it's of no help at all,
holding us back from sharing the love of Jesus with others.
With the world.
We need to go...we have to.
God appointed us to go out into all the world and tell it about Him and all that He has done, not to be ashamed or fearful of the world and it's lies.
Jesus was unashamed when He was on the cross dying for us, and taking away that shame and fear.
How can we be ashamed to tell of Him and His wonderful unending grace and love?

Sunday, August 17, 2008

We who were called to be Your people...

This is what we are: a chosen generation.
A world full of people, both young & old alike
that God has set apart for Himself,
that He has a purpose and a plan for.
That He has designed.
It's irritating when people talk about us in a derogatory way,
saying that we're useless and hopeless, not realizing
that their words do have power, and that what you speak you get.
We're not useless, we're not hopeless.
God set us apart to glorify Him, to show others His love.
He sees in us what others don't; hearts that long for truth, for something real,
for true, real love. While others just see sinners, that they think are hopeless, and don't deserve any love.
God says otherwise, He looks at the heart, not the outward appearance.
He sees the sin and mistakes we've made and will make, and He forgets them, to remember them no more.
He doesn't condemn us, He has already forgotten the sins of tomorrow.
Now it's our turn. We need to let go of the lies that have been spoken over us, and connivingly whispered into our ears. The lies that keep us form moving forward, from accepting His love. We His children...His daughters & sons.
His set apart.
His people.
His called.
Nothing can seperate us from His love.
Nothing can make Him stop loving us.
Nothing.
He's always had a purpose for us, before time began, He knew our names and what our destinations would be.


"I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb.
Before you were born I set you apart
and appointed you as my prophet to the nations."
Jeremiah 1~5

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord.
"They are plans for good and not for disaster,
to give you a future and a hope."
Jeremiah 29~11

When He says those words, He doesn't say them just to say them.
He's not a flatterer or a liar.
He truly has a purpose for us.
We're no longer sinners,
no longer murderers,
liars,
or theives.
We're redeemed,
by this Love that conquered death.
This blood that frees us from all fear,
all guilt,
and all sin...



"We who were called to be Your people
Struggling sinners and thieves
We’re lifted up from the ashes
And out came the song of the redeemed
The song of the redeemed
The song of the redeemed

Can you hear the sound of melodies
Oh, the sound of melodies
Rising up to You Rising up to You, God
The sound of melodies Oh, the sound of melodies
Rising up to You Rising up to You, God

We have caught a revelation
That nothing can separate us from
The love we received through salvation It fills your daughters and your sons
Your daughters and your sons."

Sunday, August 10, 2008

I feel the wind of Your love...

I was in the car tonight, on the way home from church and I had the window down and was sticking my hand outside while we were driving, and the wind was so powerful. So me, being bored and all, tried to see if I could force my hand to stay still while the wind was trying to push it back, and I found I couldn't. I tried, and tried and even hurt my hand in the process of it, but the force that was coming from the wind...this element that we can't see... this element that is invisible, yet so powerful, was disabling me from doing what I wanted, so I just conformed to the way in which it was blowing and my hand started moving in the flow and direction of it and it just flowed the way it was supposed to, smooth & easy, no resistence. And suddenly I got this sort of revelation; God's Spirit & power is like the wind, in the sense that we can't see It, and we can't control it, yet It's so powerful, and when we try to resist the Spirit we find we can't move the way we are supposed to, we are moving, but down a path that could eventually hurt us. But when we conform to the Spirit, we start to move in a smooth, easy flow, we get in tune with the things of God, and with His heart, and our hearts start beating together, perfectly in tune...



"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will..."

Romans 12.2

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Divine Romance...

My Father's heart holds true pure love.
An unending, overwhelming, deep love.
Nothing of this world can satisfy the need for the love we crave,
no man, no woman...neither can bring us to our knees in search of this love.

Just the thought of His love should be, it is breath taking.
In His presence I am overwhelmed with peace, I can't move.
My hands can’t stay by my side,
When I’m in His presence, I can’t stand it when they do.
How could I not raise my hands?
How could I not worship the One who gave me life?
How could I just sit there and ignore as His presence is so clearly in the room?

How could the purest of hearts,
love a creature like me?
How could He love a sinner? A liar? A thief?
How could He die, to wash all of that away, to make us like Him?
How could He want to embrace me, when I just sinned?
How does He do it, why does He care?

He satisfies my hunger, He quenches my thirst.
His blood frees me...every scar, every blemish disappears.
He took them all away, every single one, He lifts the weight off of my shoulders, and replaces my tears for joy.
I can't get away from this grace that saves my life...
This grace I'm sinking...drowning in.
I don't want to, I can't.




"...The fullness of Your grace is here with me
The richness of Your beauty’s all I see
The brightness of Your glory has arrived
In Your presence God, I’m completely satisfied


For You I sing I dance
Rejoice in this divine romance
Lift my heart and my hands
To show my love, to show my love


A deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from You
Of deep deep love, yeah it’s filling up the room
Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life
In Your presence God I’m completely satisfied..."

Thursday, July 24, 2008

I am weary of holding it in...

I saw us on fire,
burning from the inside,
deep within.
A fire that couldn't be contained,
one that could never be put out.
There we stood,
arms raised,
bodies swaying,
tongues wagging wildly as our voices rose,
tears running...streaking down our faces.
Our hearts, the objects on fire,
went from crimson to pure,
as pure as ever.
Blood flowed over them...His blood,
and every stain was gone.
I watched as the fire started to spread,
we became transparent, as our whole bodies caught on fire,
it seemed to be burning brighter and brighter,
in the shape of our silhouettes,
wherever we went,
a little piece of someone else caught on fire.
We couldn't hide it,

we couldn't contain it,
we didn't want to.
How could we keep this to ourselves??
This fire was our life source,
without it we fell to the ground;
Breathing...but not.
Living...a lie.
Beating...of false hearts...filled with false love.
We couldn't move,
our hands stayed at our side,
until...
Gasps...for the last breath of air,
our hands reached out and grasped at nothing...
and we were gone.
Without this fire we were cold, made of stone...
How can we keep this to ourselves??


"..But if I say,
'I will not mention Him, or speak anymore in His name,'
His word is in my heart like a fire,
a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in,
Indeed I cannot..."

Jeremiah 20~9

Monday, July 21, 2008

I will waste my life...

"A woman's heart should be so lost in God, that a man must be seeking the Lord to find it..."
I've seen and heard this statement a lot, 2 or 3 times today alone, and it took me awhile to comprehend it. How can our hearts be that lost in God? How possible is it? I thought about it and still am pondering it, because the thought completely blows my mind...How my heart, the heart of a sinner, the heart of a liar & a thief, can be so wanted and desired by the Creator of the universe, by the Maker of all matter and time, of life, & beating hearts...by God, my God. Just the thought of Him being jealous for me, leaves me awestrucken. When I think about it, it leaves me breathless...no one else can steal my heart the way He does, and no one ever will, no one else can make my heart skip a beat when I think about their love. Tests and trials will come, and we as mere humans fail those tests sometimes, and even though we do, God never looks down on us or stops loving us the way man does sometimes, who else would endure all Jesus did, the way He did because of that overwhelming love for us? The love of God is perfect...is pure...is true, it never fails.



"...I will waste my life I'll be tested and tried,
With no regrets inside of me to find I'm at Your feet.

I'll leave my father's house and I'll leave my mother,
I'll leave all I have known and I'll have no other.

I am in love with You There is no cost,
I am in love with You There is no loss,
I am in love with You I want to take Your name,
I am in love with You I want to cling to You Jesus,
Just let me cling to You Jesus.

I'll say goodbye to my father my mother,
I'll turn my back on every other lover and
I'll press on, yes I'll press on..."

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

He is jealous for me...

Holding my hand, holding me up.
You said You would never leave me.
I trust You, my God,
You're still here, even after everything I've done,
after I left You; You still cared.
You were still there.
You are still here.
You never left.
You knew my heart,
even when I didn't want to know Yours....

Monday, July 14, 2008

If grace is an ocean, then we're all sinking...

I just got back from one of the best weeks of my life.
I got there expecting the same ol', same ol' as every year, but when camp actually started and we had our first worship service...I was amazed at how much God wants us to praise Him and how jealous He is for our attention and love, and that if we seek Him, we'll find Him when we truly look for Him and for His heart.
I learned that last week, and when I let everything go and gave it all to Him, I felt this overwhelming love I haven't felt for a long time, and this peace that had been a void in my life for longer than I can remember, before I had it, I would ask people what it felt like to have peace, and if it made them feel free, and I'd be envious because they would have it and I didn't, and after last week, I can say that I truly know what it's like and how great it feels.
To know that He loves us, and how much He does love us, that His grace is abounding, no matter the stupid things we've done, He's forgiving and kind. He is jealous for me....He is jealous for you...


We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking...

Monday, June 30, 2008

Get the plank out of your own eye, before mentioning the splinter in someone elses...

Am I the only one who feels this way? The only one feels angry at friends that have let themselves fall, who let what they know is right inside go, who let their virtues and beliefs hang in the balance, just to "fit in" with the crowd, and you see them putting themselves in these situations and start to hang out with their old friends, who honestly did nothing good for them, and start drinking or doing drugs again or whatever and you feel hopeless for them, and you don't know what to do? I know what I'm not supposed to do: Judge and it's hard not to, especially when you see this person that you considered part of your family out in places they shouldn't be, doing things they shouldn't be doing. It's like you want to walk over and smack some sense into these persons, and scream in their face the questions that are in dire need of answers. I have a few friends who are in these situations, and I've learned [from being in similar circumstances myself] that the best thing to do is to love them, show them you still care, don't let being judgmental get in the way of your friendship, you never really know what a person is going through, and you never know, if what they really need is a shoulder to cry on, or an ear to listen, and that can make their day a lot easier...

Love is patient & kind.
Love is not jealous, it does not brag,
and is not proud.
Love is not rude, is not selfish,
and does not get upset with others.
Love does not count up wrongs
that have been done.
Love takes no pleasure in evil
but rejoices in the truth.
Love patiently accepts all things.
it always trusts, always hopes, & always endures.
Love never fails...

I Corinthians 13:4~8

Saturday, June 28, 2008

You won't relent until You have it all...

You won’t relent until
You have it all


My heart is Yours


Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart



Come be the fire inside of me
Until You and I are one


I don’t want to talk about You
Like You’re not in the room
I want to look right at You
I want to sing right to You

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Don't drop your arms...

Lately, things have gotten better. I feel that hand slowly lifting me up, I feel like there's hope that tomorrow is going to be a good day. And I can finally, after a long time, I can truly laugh, without forcing it onto my face.

I was listening to one of my favourite bands, and they have this one song called The Unwinding Cable Car, and the chorus says: "This is the correlation of salvation and love. Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart, with quiet words I'll lead you in..." This song helped me realize alot about all that I went through or am going through, or that I'll go through. Sure it may look like a mess right now, but the thing to remember is not to drop your arms, salvation is just a teardrop away...

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Who I am hates who I've been...

Sometimes life just seems to go by unnoticed. It's like we don't live, we just exist.
I know that I'm not the only person who goes through or has gone through the things I have, but sometimes it seems like everybody else has it put together, with their perfect lives, and their real smiles and happiness. And I'm the only one with this mask on, dying to peel it off, longing to end this inner battle. And no one seems to notice, they look, but that's all, they don't know how I feel or what I'm going through. Sure, everybody questions things sometimes, but I need to know, when will the light shine through? When will the day come after I've been in this constant phase of night for who knows how long? When will that hand reach in and pull me out, & stop me from suffocating from my own philosophies and desires, smothering my flame, my passion, my need to live?
I need that hand, I need that light, the true light, not a speck of ray from a flashlight, or a lighter, but one from the Son...

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

My tongue dances behind my lips...

There are so many oppourtunities each and every day to open up our mouths and speak, whether it's a wise decision or not.
We can live through everyday and speak what's on our mind, what's in our hearts, what we feel, what we don't. We were given that ability to speak aloud our thoughts, & our dreams. But something that goes along with this miraculous ability, that most of us seem to forget, is learning how to control out tongues, because I myself am a prime candidate for speaking what's on my mind, when it just isn't necessary. My words have hurt people, sometimes on purpose and sometimes inadvertantly, but because I didn't think before I spoke, I forgot how much power my words had and these people were shocked at the jabs I would take at them or others, and I truly didn't realize I was being a jerk, it was just speaking what I felt they or others should know. Now I realize that my words can hurt, scar, damage, insult people and I try not to be the kind of person people don't want to talk to for fear I'll say something mean and make myself look and sound like an ass. It's hard, especially since what's in the heart comes out of the mouth, and that's where it starts, that's where the work needs to be done. In the heart, when your heart is clean and pure, then your words will be...

Monday, May 26, 2008

Goodnight Sweetheart, the Stitches Are Coming Apart...

"I have fought many windmills, and chased after wind. I've clasped my hands around nothing again and again...Nothing in this world has lasted or put hope in my heart, the stitches have unraveled and are coming apart..."
-Showbread

The warmth of Your embrace...

Do you ever have those days where it just seems like it will never end, and it's been so hectic and mind numbing that you feel your head could explode at any second? Well, for me, that's what this whole month has been like...Overwhelming. Tiring. Endless. It's been a constant struggle to get the fake plastered smile off my face and put on a real one. Why do we have those days? Weeks? Months? Years? What takes away from our lives and leaves us with this? How are we supposed to cope with these things when it feels like no one is there? The question I need most answering to is this; When will the darkness break, and the light shine through and settle on my face? Allowing me to see everything so clearly, instead of leaving me with this feeling of dangling from a string, like I'm grasping at air and no one's hand is there to pull me up.